I have way too much time to think on my drive to and from work. Today I started thinking about things that I sometimes think/feel that might be very wrong, but I still feel them.
Is it wrong to avoid conversations of happy marriages and happy lives?
Is it wrong to be jealous of all those skinny, perfect skinned, beautiful, no flaw girls?
Is it wrong to procrastinate paying all those bills? Just because!
Is it wrong to be envious of every woman that I hear is pregnant?
Is it wrong to never, ever want to talk about cancer because CANCER SUCKS?!!!
Is it wrong to hate doctors and never want to go to one again? They only have bad things to tell you!
Is it wrong to dread turning 30 when my birthday is still 7 months away?
Is it wrong to not know all the "rules" of phonics and still teach 3rd grade?
Is it wrong to still have Christmas lights up when February is over?
Is it wrong to talk on my phone while I am driving--because me alone with my thoughts turn into blog posts like this one?!
Is it wrong to want to want to stay home wrapped up in a blanket and read a good book (for at least a week)?
Now that this is off my chest, I can focus again on other things and not worry so much about the things I feel that are wrong!
4 weeks ago
9 comments:
Well, if they are wrong...then I don't want to be right! (Oh wait...I do think one of them is wrong...the one about the flawless, skinny girls--because that is YOU and I am jealous!)
Like Dawn said, if those things are wrong, then I think we have all been wrong! She is also right about beautiful, skinny girls...you are one of them!
Love ya,
Jen
Tera, I agree you are the beautiful, skinny girl!! And no, none of these feelings are wrong to have! I think it is normal to have to work through feelings like this. And guess what my Christmas lights are still up too!! I miss you! Let's get together soon!
Just keep swimming, Tera (you know, Dory's mantra, from Nemo). You are doing amazing, and I love you even more for feeling all those things!! Spring is on it's way!
I think its very normal-and not at all wrong. Your strength inspires me. I love you!
I agree their is nothing wrong with all those feeling they are all normal. we just took are lights down the other day. And I agree with Laura I miss you to!! we need to go do something.I will call you.
Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope... Not wrong at all. It just means you're human. xoxo
There is NOTHING wrong about you! You are amazing and such a strength to all of us! I wish I could make everything better...it just takes time. I hope you find peace in the knowledge that you are doing all the right things...serving others, exercising, being a great teacher, supporting all your siblings, nieces/nephews,and friends. What more can you do? love you
Tera, I have only really met you once, but my husband and I both went to school with Kevin, and I was in the Madrigal choir with him. My name is Brittany Petersen and I just wanted to say that even though we don't know you very well, we love you both and are grateful for your tender updates on how you are doing! Your faith in the gospel is renewing for me in my every day struggles to endure what precious, life Heavenly Father has given me, no matter the trial. So keep posting! :) ps. unless the pictures of you are photoshopped and you look different now then you did at Kevin's funeral, don't beat yourself down for what you look like, you're beautiful!
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