It has been 6 months and 2 days.
Kevin has been on my mind A LOT...
I was in my car, listening to the radio. A song came on and all of the sudden tears came to my eyes. (Like I have said before, the emotions hit at the most random times.) As I listened to the song, I had an overwhelming feeling that I just wanted to hear Kevin sing again. I miss his calming voice.
I miss those conversations we could have had...work, a family, 3rd graders, faith...or questions I would like to ask him but can't...Why is my computer doing this? What do you want for dinner? How can I solve this problem?
I watched a movie the other night and the couple was fighting. As silly as this sounds, I longed for a fight with Kevin. Not really a fight, because we wouldn't really fight. Just disagree or argue. I want to have another argument with Kevin so we can kiss and make up.
I miss hearing, "Do you want to go on a date with me?" or "You look beautiful!" or "I love you." I want to hear Kevin reassuring me or calming me or just saying the right things at the right moments.
I long to hear Kevin's ring on my phone. Just to make sure he is safe and to let him know I am too.
Sometimes I am sitting at home, or driving in the car and just think Kevin needs to come home or be sitting next to me. It feels like it is going to happen any moment...he will be right there with me.
I wish my hand could be in his--his perfect hands that I love! Just a touch as simple as that could change my whole day.
So Kevin, I just thought you should know...I miss you!
11 comments:
Oh, Tera, I miss Kevin too. When I was looking through pictures for ones of Dailie, I found a few more of her with Kevin- a couple from a trip he made to Indiana just after he graduated from High School, Dailie was just a baby. Looking at the pictures, it just struck me that he won't be visiting anymore- to play with my kids, or to have a great heart to heart conversation with. Of course I knew this before, but it's just funny how I will "realize" it all over again in the strangest ways. I know it's nothing compared to your lonliness, but I just thought I'd let you know that I miss him too.
Thanks for remembering Dailie on her birthday. You me so much to my kids, and to Rick and I. We love you.
Oh, Tera, life seems so unfair! I don't know what heaven is like, but I bet he misses you too.
Dear Tera, I've been thinking about you and thinking about "grief bubbles" as my sister Stef calls them, where all of the sudden out of the blue something washes over you again and the aching returns. I can't imagine the depth of that ache or the courage that it takes to keep living with purpose from day to day. Your descriptions were so real and vivid. I am sorry. I am still praying for you and the spirit's peace for you. I wish I knew your Kevin better. Love, Mieka
(for some reason i've not yet figured out my comments post as Jay...)
I am sure Kevin is longing to be with you again too.
Tera, I miss Kevin too. My heart aches for him. I want to be able to call him and talk to him about books, Milly, life in general, and about creating a cereal bar resturant. Every now and then, I look at Caleb and see Kevin in him so much, it pulls at my heart. My heart also aches for you too. Oh Tera, I can only imagine what you must feel. I do want you to know that we love you! And I think of you often! If you ever need "time off" you are always welcome to come have an adventure across the country. :) HUGS
I have tears for you doll. I know he misses you too. What a great post. If you need anything, let me know! xoxo
I was just thinking of you last night. I don't know how you do it, but you truly have amazing strength. You are an example to those around you. I am sure Kevin misses you, just as much as you miss you. Love you and think of you often.
I agree that life seems so unfair. You are such a strong, amazing person. I admire your faith and truly see you as a woman of courage and someone I want to be like.
You are in my prayers. I'm certain Kevin is close to you.
Tera, you are about the sweetest person I have ever met. I wish that you didn't have to go though this and can only imagine how much you miss Kevin. I'm know he misses you too, and I am glad you will be able to see him again. You keep bing the amazing person you are! Love you and you are always in my prayers!
I cannot begin to understand the pain that you must feel when those moments hit you. But I would like to think that in those moments Kevin IS with you. He loves you Tera and will always be there for you. So if you feel like you want to talk to him, do it. Tell him about your day and how much you miss him. Because I know he misses you as much as you miss him and longs for the day when you two will be together again. Stay strong, and know that you have friends and family who love you and will do anything for you.
I love you. We miss him too.
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