3rd Graders

I walked my kids to their lab class today. As I was holding the door for my kids to walk in, one of the kids that goes to labs with my class (but is not in my class) ran right by me. Now most kids know they are not supposed to run in school. His aid was with him, but he managed to get past her as well. The art teacher saw him run through the classroom to his spot, and very patiently asked him to walk back to the door and "try that again." Well, he proceeded to run back to the door, and then he ran back to his place on the carpet. This time the aid and the art teacher asked him once again to walk. Well, as he was WALKING back to the door--very grudgingly--he said, "I can't help it! My shoes are just so fast!"

When I ran into his teacher in the hall on my way back to the classroom, I told her what he said. She told me he just got new shoes, and he has been running around ALL DAY! I think I need to get me some of those shoes!

I needed to share the funny things they say because right now at school there isn't much to "cheer" about. Tattle telling, complaining, test preparation, and parent teacher conferences are about all that is going on at school right now. Not really much to look forward to every day! I am just counting down the days to a much needed Spring Break!

Performance Inhanching Drugs Anyone?

So I had a doctor's appointment yesterday with a doctor whose purpose at the cancer center is to help patients improve their quality of life. So basically you tell her what symptoms are keeping you from enjoying life and then she hands out the drugs to fix them. It was actually a really good visit because I had a change to talk about what is causing my swelling and discomfort and come up with a plan to make things better. So it turns out that steroids are a very good anti-inflammatory (at least the one she is prescribing me with). And since she feels all the discomfort in my abdomen and back are all associated with my swelling and backed up lymph system, the steroid will provide relief in that regard as well. It will even give me a little boost of energy through the day. The only downside is that my hopes of becoming a 7 time Tour de France winner are out the window. I'll never make it past those drug tests now. Maybe I'll just have to focus on first on successfully walking Milly 7 days in a row and go from there.

As to when the experimental chemotherapy infusions will begin...we are still waiting for insurance to approve them. With my experience with insurance I don't really see that getting all wrapped up for at least two or three more weeks (I hope they prove me wrong here). In the meantime I have a plan to improve my quality of life so I'm good.

The weekend that almost wasn't!

Our restful weekend almost wasn't! On Friday I got a message on my phone from my mom. All she said was "Tera call me. Grandpa's in the hospital." I didn't really know what to think, but immediately panicked. Was grandpa okay? What does this mean? Not something else to worry about? (If you know me, there is ALWAYS something to worry about!) Then I thought--wow, when it rains, it really does pour! I called mom, and found out that grandpas kidneys really were failing, and he had woken on Friday morning having a hard time breathing. Today he is at the hospital in Grand Junction, and he will hopefully be home soon.

Now, on to our story. So I talked to mom, had a little pity party for myself, (I am good at those) and then I put a smile on my face and taught for the rest of the day. I was sure Kevin wouldn't want to go to Monticello without grandma and grandpa there. Oh, plus it was SNOWING! Utah weather?! Anyway, Kevin was determined to go. You have to understand that once we have a plan, Kevin doesn't like to change those plans. We jumped in the car at 5, and headed to my "safe place."

Needless to say, it just wasn't the same without grandma and grandpa there, but I had a nice time. Kevin slept most of the weekend to avoid some bathroom issues he has been dealing with for the past 5 years! I got to hang out with Hardy's. They may not have enjoyed themselves, but it was sure nice to have someone to talk to during Kevin's "naps." So thanks to the Hardy's! I attempted to make waffles. They are always so good at grandma's house, so I decided to see if it was grandma or the waffle iron that made the waffles so good. It is definitely grandma!

It has been a week of torture, but today I feel like I have found some peace amid the panic. I feel like my thoughts are more positive and faithful. Why can't Kevin beat this? He has beat the odds at least 4 times already. I finally ate a usual size meal instead of starving myself. That is an improvement! (My stomach has been in knots, and I worry myself sick.) I was actually enjoying my job today. I know many of these feelings are because of the prayers many of you have offered. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! What would we do without you all!

Time to Escape

Tera has told me that "nothing bad can happen at Grandma's house" and that for her it is a safe place. So in light of the previous post, we are going to Grandmas house this weekend. I think a little escape to Monticello will be a good weekend retreat for us. We'll have to use the time to come up with an even bigger escape plan for later.

Some Unexpected News

For those who have been reading our Blog, you may remember a posting about my swelling leg issue. Well, along with some other strange symptoms that we assumed were associated with recovering from my last surgery, Tera and I though we should probably contact my doctor and have things checked out. We did a bunch of blood work to look at everything and they had me go in for a PET/CT scan. These tests were Wednesday and Friday of last week. Yesterday, Tuesday, we had our appointment with Dr. Nibley to go over the results and to find out for sure what was gong on and to discuss a plan. Again, we considered my symptoms to be related to a slow recovery from my last surgery and nothing more. It turns out there is once again increased disease activity throughout my body. My tumor markers in my blood are really high and the scan shows activity basically from the base of my neck to the pelvic area and many places in between. In terms of treatments that have a good or proven chance of providing a cure, the last surgery was what the doctors were hoping would work. Now that it has come back yet again, and the typical methods used for recurrences of testicular cancer have been tried without full success, the goal for my oncologist has changed from trying obtain a cure of the cancer to prolonging my life as much as possible. (I know Dr. Nibley has consulted with oncologists at many institutes has he has worked to cure me, however Tera and I may go and visit with another doctor for a second opinion, if only to feel like we have used all the resources available to us.) However, Dr. Nibley told us of some chemotherapy drugs that are still in experimental stages that we may want to try. Studies involving similar cases to my own have shown about a 40% response to these drugs. I don't remember the percentage, but there were a portion of these 40% that were alive after 3 years (It seems 3 years was the extent of the study), and there was a small handful that actually went into remission. Tera and I feel that we should definitely try anything that might work, so we will probably go ahead with this option. In terms of side effects, I won't loose my hair, but there will be fatigue and my immune system will be compromised. Also, for a couple of days after receiving these drugs, anytime I come into contact with anything cold, it will feel like there is electricity shooting through me. It isn't supposed to be painful, just a pins and needles kind of feeling I guess. I would be given these drugs once every two weeks for a month and if I'm showing some response, they would continue for another month. If things are really going well, they would keep me on it for four months. Beyond that the side effects build up too much to make it worth it and could cause severe damage to my nervous system. Although scientifically this provides us with just a small chance of remission, that is where our faith and hope are at this time. We may even try out a few less 'clinical' ideas to see what happens. Moroni said that miracles only cease when there is no faith.

"And the reason why he ceaseth to do miracles among the children of men is because that they dwindle in unbelief, and depart from the right way, and know not the God in whom they should trust.
Behold, I say unto you that whoso believeth in Christ, doubting nothing, whatsoever he shall ask the Father in the name of Christ it shall be granted him; and this promise is unto all, even unto the ends of the earth"

A Favorite Picture

The picture I currently have as my profile picture is taken from one of my favorite pictures of me as a little kid. And since Charity mentioned it in response to one of my comments on their blog, I thought I would share the entire picture just for fun. I'm not sure how old I am in the picture, but if I had to make a guess I would say around 8 (give or take a year). This was taken on one of our many trips to Yellowstone for family vacation. I like this picture for several reasons. The look on my face and the way that I'm standing just scream "hurry up everybody!" as I'm waiting impatiently for everyone to catch up to me on the boardwalk. I don't think any of my pants in those days lasted very long before holes were worn through the knees (even if Mom tried to reinforce them on the inside). And I'm pretty sure that I'm wearing cleats, which I was convinced made me run faster. But above all, I just want some of that hair back! That would be fun to have thick, constantly messed up, blond hair again. Maybe in the resurrection...I'll keep hoping!

One Crazy Saturday

It felt really good Saturday evening (around 8pm) when Tera and I could finally relax. Other than a brief pause of for some sleep Friday night and meal times on Saturday, we were going nonstop starting Friday evening when we both got home from work. But it was well worth it. We are now moved into our house. We loaded the moving truck with the help of our parents and then unloading at the house went quick as more family members joined in along with a few of our new neighbors. We had some hot dogs for lunch and employed those who could stick around in helping us get everything organized (which is till a work in progress, there are a few more boxes of random stuff we need to figure out what to do with and a few things we can't seem to find). Once we were sick of organizing we went grocery shopping and picked up Milly from Tera's parents house. I don't think she fully understands still that this is her new home, but the transition is going smooth so far. Since it is still a little unfamiliar to her she doesn't like to let you out of her sight and will follow you everywhere. And for some reason she is scared of the deck stairs in the back and requires a little encouragement to up or down them when she goes out to go potty.

Church also went well on Sunday. The people in our new ward seem very friendly. A lot of people took the time to introduce themselves to us which made us feel welcome very quickly. We both look forward to getting to know our fellow ward members and our neighbors, they all seem like good people.

That is the rundown of our weekend. I think we are both still a little exhausted form everything, but we really enjoy having our own place. And as Tera told me Saturday evening once all was said and done, having Milly there with us made it complete and it all felt right.